Welcome to my blog! I’ll kick off my new venture by sharing a bit of my artistic journey to now.
I grew up in the art world, and with a professional artist for a mother, learned a lot through osmosis. Despite having a certain amount of talent and opportunity, I let comparison prevent me from putting much effort into exploring the artistic process. Always surrounded by beautiful, highly skilled paintings, whatever I produced just never matched up. I know it was unrealistic for my younger self to compare her works against a 30+ year skill set, but I couldn’t help it. Comparison is the thief of joy, and I let myself get robbed constantly. The things I wanted to create just never turned out the way I had envisioned them to be. I had no trust in the process, and my high expectations held me back from simply practicing and playing.
I always fought against the idea of being an artist and denied my natural instincts to create. After many years, and lots of internal work, I can now recognize and push through my blockages and resistances. Art is an ongoing practice of hearing, but not submitting to the internal critic, which can often paralyze progress. Though I still struggle with these challenges (and probably always will!) I’ve finally come to a place where I don’t let them hold me back anymore.
This year was a turning point for me in terms of my art.
Last summer I did an internship at an Ecovillage. I spent most of my time working on a variety of different tasks, including working in the garden, constructing natural buildings and cooking for lots of people. Although I often enjoyed those jobs, I couldn’t help but observe where I was the most content. I looked forward to, and found the most satisfaction when immersed in creative, artistic projects. After I left the village, I came to the decision to put myself and my art ‘out there’, to share it with the world. It’s a scary step for me, but I also find it exciting to move forward with a new direction and motivation in life. It’s been a life long process, but I am finally coming to embrace my artistic gifts, and explore the ways in which I express them in the world.